earning R-E-S-P-E-C-T

From Aretha Franklin to Rodney Dangerfield, everybody wants a little respect. That's particularly true in the workplace. But how do you earn the respect of your colleagues and staff members? Some managers try to demand respect, but their demands are more likely to elicit fear. There are better ways to go about it. Here are a few:

• Treat others as they wish to be treated. Despite what you learned in grade school, the Golden Rule (Do unto others as you would have them do unto you) doesn't always apply. When it comes to interpersonal relations, a better policy is to treat others as they prefer to be treated. In the typical office, no two people will have the same likes and expectations. One of your colleagues may prefer long, detailed status reports. Another just wants to hear the highlights. It's the same story when it comes to managing your staff. Some staff members prefer a free rein—they thrive when they have the freedom to get the job done their own way. Others feel lost without step-by-step directions and constant feedback. Make it a point to learn each individual's preferences and treat that person accordingly.
• Take responsibility for your actions. When something goes wrong and your manager comes around looking for the responsible party, it's tempting to just hold your tongue. Most people figure that 'fessing up to their mistakes will cost them their supervisor's respect. But that's not usually true. Most people admire someone who has the courage to step up and accept responsibility for an error, especially when the apology comes with an offer to help correct the situation.
• Lead by example. As any parent who's stubbed a toe and let slip a profanity will attest, children learn more from what you do than from what you say. It's no different in the workplace. You're guaranteed to lose your staff 's respect if you insist they abide by a particular code of conduct while you openly flout it. In other words, don't threaten them with punishment for coming back late from lunch and then come sauntering in late yourself. And don't try to rationalize your behavior by invoking your elevated status. You'll automatically lose any respect you might have otherwise enjoyed. The more power and authority you wield, the more important it is that you lead by example.
• Stick to your principles. One of the best ways to earn respect is to stick to your principles when challenged. Conversely, one of the quickest ways to lose respect is to sell out. They might not say anything to your face, but your staff members will certainly take note of any discrepancies between what you say and what you do.
• Respect others. You don't have to agree with someone to respect his or her point of view. In fact, the way you treat someone with whom you disagree says a great deal about your character. Take, for example, the manager who tries to ingratiate himself with his staff by bad-mouthing the corporate office. Those staffers aren't fooled for a minute. As they see it, someone who's openly disloyal to others is just as likely to be disloyal to them. Once a backstabber, always a backstabber. Another point to keep in mind: Most people find it difficult to respect someone who's constantly trashing others and focusing on the negative.