None of this related to David Sedaris's subversively funny book about, among other things, learning to speak French, the beauty of which tongue is vastly overrated. We would all, I suppose, like to talk pretty and are awed by those with a fluent command of language in both written and spoken forms.
But to be honest, on the job, we should aspire not so much to be pretty as clear, complete, convincing, and even compelling in our communications.
A HUE AND CRY
Communications, in general, gets all the attention it can stand these days. Basta! We get it. Communications is important—with customers, with colleagues, with suppliers, with our bosses. Without rock-solid communications, we can't build trust and confidence; without trust, we can't genuinely collaborate. Without collaboration, we can't realize our own potential or achieve the possibilities that lie at the feet of our enterprise.
But the mavens in the field tend to focus on executives, our bosses, and delight in pointing out what poor communicators leaders are. This could be because that target audience is the one with a corporate checkbook big enough to fund lessons that will transform their communications skills.
Here's some sobering news. We all need to be, or become, good at communications—up, down, sidewise, every which way, and with every conceivable audience. Communications is not some flaw, a gap to be filled in, among leaders. It is part and parcel of what it takes to be a leader in the first place.
So, the principles of effective communications are musts. For leaders, for those ready to move into leadership roles, for those who aspire to leadership roles down the road, and for those who want the respect, support, and enthusiasm of the team around us.
WHAT'S HOLDING US BACK AND HOW DO WE FIX IT?In total, the best start on a litany of communications challenges is to get professional training in all aspects of communications—and practice, practice, practice. The points below deal with more specific issues.
- We model the style of our current leaders or of striking leadership exemplars from the past. Check your Apple Watch, dude. We are too far into the 21st century to even think about going back. The day of magnates, robber barons, gray flannel suits, straw bosses, commanders, and merciless bullies is long past. Break free of those models and treat people like human beings.
- Some of us are fearful of face-to-face communication, either singly or in groups (even small groups). We don't want to make a public mistake. So we hide behind e-mail messages or send corrosive memos to the world at large to correct the actions of one or two miscreants. Stop it. Handle problems directly. Join Toastmasters.
- Stop harping on the negatives. It is too easy to enumerate what's wrong and then direct people to fix things. Communicate the positives, what's going right. Put the positive vision in front of the team, and let them get motivated about stretching to reach it.
- Find the balance. Don't underprepare communications. Winging it, and extemporizing, leaves holes your gran' mama could execute a zone read through. But don't overprepare, either. Totally scripted content comes off like a candidate for high office. And there is always the risk of leaving your game on the practice field.
- Unique expertise is a common disease. It encourages an assumption that everyone already knows as much as the speaker, making further detail superfluous. Fight to draw questions out of the audience, even an audience of one; answer them with patience and without condescension.
- We too often gloss over or omit issues we don't have answers for. Look, it is not necessary to be omniscient. In fact, people appreciate when others admit to not having all the answers. Get over it, and get over yourself. Admit that there are gaps and commit to obtaining the information and/or expertise needed to fill them.
- Usually unintentionally, we fail to address diversity in all forms, including perspective, education, and background. We blindly expect that all others are more or less just like us. So we make cultural references and language choices that either don't resonate or mean something completely different from what we intended. Compounding this are "microinequities," biases based on style and personality, and "microaggressions," even the innocent variety, delivering insult and injury when care, concern, and comprehension were intended. Get help to understand these conditions and the consequences of related miscommunication.
- Especially when we are en fuego regarding the latest vision and prospect, we tend to be overhopeful that others already have the same perspective and passion. They don't, but we push them onward as if they did. It's up to us to set the stage, explain the context, and verify that the core concepts are understood before we fire up the "A" team. Assume nothing about their knowledge of the situation and predisposition to positive action.
- A corollary condition is our focus on the end state and its outcomes. We get so excited that we leapfrog essential details to get to the climax. This leaves the listeners confused, a bit dazed, and behind an eight ball they didn't even know was in play. Like Dorothy and her cohort, it's perhaps inspiring to contemplate the Emerald City in the distance, but if no one knows about the Yellow Brick Road, they'll never get there. And we will be at minimum disappointed, at maximum frothing rabidly at the failure.
- It may shock some, but from interns to supervisors, from managers to CEOs, we are human. We all have worries, cares, distractions, and fears. It is easy to slip into letting these skew our communications, which can twist core messages and disincent listeners—colleagues, followers, peers, business partners, or public audiences. Be honest, but balanced, in the inclusion of concerns, vulnerabilities, or weaknesses in whatever is being communicated. Overemphasis on the negatives will otherwise be heard as the thrust and heart of the message.
I could, and probably should, go on. Effective communications may seem to be a requirement that can be a set of mechanical processes. But, in fact, those around us, up, down, and all around, live for communications. They thrive on being in on what's going on and where the enterprise intends to go. It is a lifeblood element of loyalty and engagement.
And it is essential to letting people know that they, and their efforts, are appreciated. Everyone needs to know that they are not being taken for granted, that they are not cogs in the machinery, that they have worth, as people and as performers.
Good, authentic, heartfelt, and well-crafted communications are an essential part of the business toolkit, what we use to inspire people to motivate themselves to be the best they can be. Now that's talking pretty.
